Sometimes, I find that couples are a wee bit anxious about inclusion of their families in a way that will honor their parents' traditional beliefs, yet still speak to who they are and what beliefs they hold.

And some couples are very clear that they either don't want any reference to their cultural or religious background or they want this part of their history or their cultural traditions to been given meaning in their ceremony.

I therefore encourage them to consider the following options:

1. to obtain a religious leader from their faith to co-perform the ceremony
2. to bring into the ceremony readings, done by family members (even in a different language), or myself that will honor the diversity of their union
3. to include certain wedding rituals, ie the unity candle to create a feeling of coming together for all through this marriage
4. to choose music, either taped or live that will enrich and enliven the ceremony by also honoring the diversity inherently present within their union

I have performed ceremonies under a huppah, including a Japanese Tea Ceremony, belly-dancing, chanting an opening prayer, the list is endless - anything can be created to make the right and perfect ceremony that has meaning for all.